Apparently all of football is rigged. That’s what we learned over the international break, when Sepp Blatter laid forth a diabolical scheme to allow Cristiano Ronaldo to win the Ballon D’or, all the while undermining his chief rival, Michel Platini, and, oh what the hell, preventing everyone’s new favorite counter-culture hero, the almighty Zlatan, from playing in one last World Cup (which is now not worth watching, according to him) before he rides off into the sunset that is his own growing cult of hipsterdom.
Or maybe Sweden just forgot how to defend 60 yard killer balls for fifteen minutes, one of the two. I don’t even care anymore, because I’m just like Ibra the great, and not caring is cool.
This just in: grumpy Scottish man has something to say! I haven’t read his book yet, but apparently Sir Alex Ferguson was not content with going out on the top of his sport, he wanted to R. Kelly on the entire league in his post-mortem. Here are some of the highlights, mixed in with some predictions. Continue Reading →
It is understood that there are still eleven teams that need to officially punch their tickets to Brazil. Also that once those countries have progressed, the possibilities and permutations for selection are, if not actually endless, close to it. That said, Monday’s draw for the European playoff ties has brought a sliver of extra clarity to the process, and furthermore, like an NCAA tournament bracket or a Presidential Election, the theoretical is sometimes far more interesting than the actual. Continue Reading →
It all happened so fast. One who was watching both matches (on shady pirated streams, no less) and following along all of the relevant social media as well as texting friends, colleagues, etc. could barely keep up with the madness. Continue Reading →
With no domestic football and still 24 hours until the pivotal Faroe Islands vs. Kazakhstan match, one must bide time in creative ways this week. I’m going to spend mine trolling for the best items available in EPL team shops online. What will we find?
The gray pair look like they were designed by Frank Miller’s special needs cousin. And the white? We get it, they are housing your balls. These go great with the 5 pack of socks embossed with the names of Arsenal legends. Necessary.
After each round of fixtures, I will delve into three EPL stories, one affecting each section of the table as it stands on that date. For the purposes of these articles, the “top” of the table will be considered teams 1-6 in the standings. The “middle” will be teams 7-13, and the “bottom” will be teams 14-20.
With one point out of a possible 12 this week, it’s been seven days of mutual misery for the long insufferable fans of Manchester United as well as the not-quite-as long insufferable fans of Manchester City. Put down that industrial size bag of rat poison, good sky blue-clad sir! Life will go on.
Before this starts, it should be noted that no one who isn’t currently inside the Chelsea football family knows the full truth about Juan Mata. We must consider the possibility that he wasn’t fully fit to start the season, and may still not be. We must also consider that perhaps Mata’s attitude was not quite right through the Blues’ preseason regimen, though this scenario is more difficult to imagine for a player that, from the outside, appears to be a marriage of supreme talent and team-first attitude. But…
A London Derby highlights proceedings this weekend as the 2000 attacking midfielders of Chelsea take on the 1500 attacking midfielders of Tottenham. 2-7-1 formations for everyone! Not that all of that creativity has led to any goals for either club. Elsewhere, trap games await for many of the “Sky 6.”